9 comments on “Human Evolution? Sex with plants? Seriously???

  1. fetish: 1. any object believed by superstitious people to have magical power. 2. any thing or activity to which one is irrationally devoted. (to make a fetish of sports) 3. (psychiatry) any NONSEXUAL object such as a foot or a glove, that ABNORMALLY excites erotic feelings. i defer to the experts, and that is what my dictionary says. so that means that when i was a child and made “snow angels” i have this fetish. also i suffered erectile dysfunction because i didn’t get a boner. pardon my foul language and attitude. this whiny politically correct bullshit has gone to far. mainstream porn dictates that any vestigial signs of sexual maturity are ugly and not “sexy”, the prepubescent look is. kiddy porn and animal porn, so why not plant porn? pissing and crapping (scat, squirt) is supposed to be sexy too. these same idiots can’t even grow a veg garden and at the same time they bitch about the price of produce. they will pay a $1.50 for twinkies, doritos, a candy bar, or an “energy drink”. (soda pop back when i was a kid making snow angels) a pack of carrot seeds cost a $1.50, same with a pack of romaine lettuce seeds, spinach, green beans or a tomato seedling. yet at the exact same time mainstream internet porn dictates that “salad tossing” is some sort of sex act and it has nothing to do with fresh produce!!! yes, what the hell is going on?! So if i eat a tomato or carrot from my garden, does that mean i just had oral sex? if so, do you know what that means? i still suffer from erectile dysfunction!

    so now i have to post signs on our bug-out property that say no masturbating along with the no trespassing and no hunting. better yet replace them all with “caution: shooting range” then i can “accidentally” eliminate these idiots from my property. i’m sorry i am a bigot and i am politically incorrect. i just don’t find anything attractive about caitlin jenner , she stands 6 foot 2 inches, weighs in about 180 pounds, she reminds me of a has been decathlete named Bruce, carries her identity and self esteem around in a plethora of pill bottles and she has a penis. the thing that i find the least attractive about her is her freakishly giant man hands. no plastic surgery, no pills, no lip nor ass injections, not even photoshop or airbrushing can cure that. i have this crazy ass debate going on in my head right now, am i going nuts or is everybody else going nuts?

    2 guys were talking over coffee during monday morning coffee break. the first guy said “i joined one of those internet dating sites this last weekend. my neighbor in the apartment complex did and he has had 8 dates in the last 6 weeks. he told me that i should exaggerate a little on my profile, as it would improve my chances of getting a date. so i logged in and took a look at his profile to get some ideas. he didn’t exaggerate at all. he out and out lied about what he did for a job, how much he earned, where he lived, even what kind of car he drove. that explains the brand new rented BMW in his parking space.”
    the second guy looks at him over his steaming cup of coffee and responds, “do you really expect someone with fake hair, fake eyelashes, fake lips, fake boobs, fake fingernails, smoking a fake cigarette to be completely honest?”

    so if you want to be yourself, be happy, be healthy, you need to call your doctor to see if his new, blue pill is right for you. but read the caution, studies show that it might kill you or make you want to kill yourself. if that is the case, call your doctor immediately, he has a newer, bluer pill that is right for you. but read the caution, studies show…

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    • Unfortunately Randolph if you do eat a tomato or carrot I must say that in this new line of psychosis…..I mean “thinking”…..YES you just had oral sex! Don’t get all freaked out and beside yourself, just accept the new psychosis….I mean “norm”…. and deal with it. NO you cannot post signs on your lawn or in your garden as the people wishing to have sex with plants must be allowed to move about freely and “do their thing” anywhere….apparently. Posting signs forbidding any kind of sexual behavior between humans and plants would violate their civil rights and I’m sure there is a moronic judge somewhere who would fully agree with that. We simply must accept the “new norm” of “anything goes” and apparently that means ANYTHING.

      No Randolph you have not gone insane but let me assure you that many of those around you have and likely have been for most of their lives. I look around at the world right now and I see a world becoming more and more violent. I see more and more civil unrest. I see more and more killings most of which are senseless and due to barbaric aggression. Societies all around the world are falling apart EVEN those that we would once consider to be a “rock” (ie: USA). I do NOT think we are evolving any longer. I think humanity is devolving! Just into what I do not know.

      Of course you do know that I am now waiting for that firstborn offspring coming as a result of human-plant sexual intercourse don’t you? Well yes I am and when it happens I want to be the first to know and I want exclusive rights for research on that offspring. Soooo if anyone has sex with a plant and offspring is produced don’t hestitate to get ahold of me right away so I can direct ou and your newborn to my lab 🙂

      Consider the significance of such a thing……from fish….to ape…..to human…..to hybrid plant-human!! What a fantastic step forward for the human species and plant species too. NOT! Oh one last thing….I’d advise not having sex with a cactus as it may be rather painful due to the spines on the cactus.

      GOD HELP US ALL…AGAIN!!

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  2. makes sense to me, tigons, ligers, mules, hinnies, probably the humanzee. so why not the humato? humaine lettuce, not to be confused with let us be humane. sorry it won’t be from my yard, remember i have erectile dysfunction. i use the old fashioned and “fetishy” snuggling up with my wife and doing the big nasty with the little lady.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lol… This is the best kick in the plants I have had in weeks guys. As fun as it is I am left without words right now. I’m going to have to study this concept somemore before I can properly wrap my head around it. lol

    Great find Roberto! Just incredible… 🙂

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  4. I’m glad you guys like my bitching, but i have to give credit where credit is due. you guys have an intelligent sense of humor although a little less sarcastic. that stimulates my thought process and i have learned a whole lot from this blog as well as a few others. but high gear? nope, not even, i’m in neutral. my wife puts up with this 24/7, maybe 25/8 sometimes. if i were in high gear i would start my own movement. we are all aware of movements, the not me (women’s lib 2.0) black lives matter (civil rights 2.0) and the never again (Vietnam war protests 2.0) except the war is just down the street. my movement is easy as i am lazy, and consists of 2 easy steps. one is a civil right , to keep AND BEAR arms and marching on Washington DC. i call it the “what the hell, why not them!” to bad somebody beat me to it not that long ago and the totalitarian leader survived. lucky for you i am way more anal.

    we are on the same page as far as some natural disaster knocking us back to the stone age. i saw a documentary about the auroras/solar flares and one hit, if i remember correctly, Montreal Quebec back in the late 1990s. it took out a good amount of their electrical grid. no more lights, no internet ,wifi, no more refrigeration. the food in the all you can eat buffets spoiled. if you had a veg garden you could still eat. in the 1860s one hit and collapsed that power grid too. only it was a single telegraph line, started the battery on fire and burned the operator. personally i don’t think it would take a massive solar flare to knock us back to the stone age, not a Biblical flood, not even several Yellowstone or Mt. Toba like eruptions. we are capable of that ourselves without the intervention of Mother Nature or the hand of God, even though both do not discriminate, and both have very bad manners. if they appear at your doorstep, they never knock, barge right in and never ever say excuse me! and stone age, well pioneer/gold rush days will do the trick. i am going to give you folks some advice that will greatly improve the quality of life when we have to start over. those “survivalist” public service messages that tell us to pack up 3 days worth of food and water in case the shit hits the fan, pack some nose plugs and stay indoors because it is going to smell really, really ripe outdoors …. have a better day folks.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Tell you what Randolf, related to the scenario you share here, there is a great series you might like written by a good friend of mine Lloyd Tackitt. The first, “A distant eden” It is one of the most “realistic” visions of how events would actually progress if this were to really happen. He put some real thought into the real current society human factor that would expose it’s self.

      https://www.goodreads.com/series/98433-a-distant-eden

      Liked by 1 person

  5. thanx J. R. i’m going to barnes and noble and either get it or order it. i like stuff like that. i know i won’t survive that.

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